If you ever find me.
please tell me how you feel.
We may not know each other.
I may never exist in your world.

I am lonely, and would love for you to exist in mine, just for a small moment.
www.formspring.me/letsmakebeauty

Let me tell you

You are so Fucking Beautiful.
Every day I want, need, to just touch you.
Just at the thought of your longing eyes makes my bones itch and ache to be in your presence once again.
Physically, Mentally, Spiritually.

no one will ever see your Beauty like I do.
You think they will, but they won’t.
They think they will, but they won’t.
No soul will feel you’re Beauty like I do.
This isn’t about First Love or Last Love, this is our Love and only ours.
You are the finest form of divinity to me.
And that is so much for me to say because I adore so many for it is the only thing I know how to do.
None of them come close to my Heart in the way that you Have.
None of them ever will.

The many moments even from such early days I’d awake before you so I could just watch you sleep in pure amazement, for the Incredible Soul that I was beholding was mine to call my own.
Your lips sit so softly when you sleep, with a gentle curl as you dream.
And all I could ever do was Cry, for I had never seen such a creature who touched such inner feelings within me in any way like darling Michael.
I’d ache with tears as I would try to fathom to myself how much I Loved you.

And now I feel this Alone.
To feel so much and to have to feel it on my own is soul destroying, because nothing can substitute, and nothing ever will substitute.
When all I want to do is give you everything I’ve ever given, everything I’ve ever meant to do once again.

To somehow carry on with the knowledge that no one will ever Love me the same way ever again to me is an impossible task that I never see myself achieving.
No matter who tells me I will, no matter how many people over the years of existence have.
No matter how many new gestures are made, no matter how many words may catch my heart.
I know that I cannot live the life I would of.
The only life I will forever want to Live.

The Future will come inevitably, and it will bring much change for everyone,
But each day I can only hope,
That some day soon, you will Love me again.

As I Love you.


Let me tell you,
You have given me this forever ache in my Heart and Throat,
The ability to Love so deep, that without it living is impossible.
Something that no other will ever be able to do.
And that’s what makes you the most Beautiful person the world will ever see.

Chanelle is not someone you want to know.
Chanelle is not someone you want to Love.

Dark Globe.

Oh where are you now
pussy willow that smiled on this leaf?
When I was alone
you promised the stone from your heart.
My head kissed the ground
I was half the way down
treading the sand
please.

Please lift a hand
I'm only a person
whose armbands beat
on his hands, hang tall
Won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?


The poppy bird's way
swing twigs coffee brands around
brandish her wand with a feathery tongue
My head kissed the ground.
I was half the way down
treading the sand
please
please

Please lift a hand
I'm only a person
with eskimo chain
I tattooed my brain all the way
Won't you miss me?
wouldn't you miss me at all?

It's not getting any easier.
It's not feeling any better.

To my Best Friend.

I don't know if you will ever see this.
But I'm hoping if you do, you will not read it with despair, but read it how you would of read it before we were worlds apart.
I want you to know, and to never forget.
To remember and to consider.
To Love and to care.

I will Love you for always.
Like always.
From the moment I first told you, on the phone curled up amongst my pillows on my bed, just before the Nineteenth of September.
I will always be in Love with you.
I'll always be here waiting, for when you're ready.
and I won't Love you any less, but always more.
I will still make you sandwiches, with cat faces drawn on the wrapping to take to work with you.
I will still always wait for you to fall asleep first.
I will still always call you little meow.
I will still always walk to your house in the rain.
I will still surprise you and meet you after work waiting on the cream bench, watching you lovingly while you clean up your till.
I will still buy you treats.
I will still make you tuna on toast.
I will still draw you pictures of you, me and tommie going on holidays.
I will still sleep with one of my legs over yours.
I will still look for places to draw little caterpillars in your room.
I will still scissor grab you.
I will still say "Likka babiez bawttum" with you.
I will still call you to say "the showw, when am I gonna be on the showw, I have a great act!"
I will still write you stories about a Lover in the sky and a beautiful girl living on a star.
I will still do my very best to help you clean your room without getting sleepy.
I promise I won't call you everyday.
I promise to let you spend the day and night on you're own to play your game as often as you want.
I promise to smile more.
I promise to be Happy always.
I promise I won't cry on my own.
I promise to wear any pretty dress you want me to wear.
I promise to create and play music again.
I promise to be get well and be independent.
I promise to never get upset with you over silly things ever again.
I promise to support you in every goal you want to achieve, no matter what, through anything.
I will still always believe in you, in your incredible talent, and your beautiful Heart.
I will still trust you,with every inch of me.
I will still do whatever I can to make you smile.
I will still do whatever I can to make you Happy.
I will still be your best friend.
I will still Love you, just as much as I always have, with all my heart, and all my fingers and toes.
With every smile you've ever made me smile, with every Michael song thats ever made me happy.
With every bit of my existence, everything I have become and everything you have given me.
With every little stripe on little Tommies tail.
I will Always be your Applecheaks.
I will never blow away.


See you soon Darling Beautiful Moonface.

I thought I meant something.

I'd give anything for last night to have never happened.
Anything.
I Love you, please never forget me.