Monday, August 3, 2009
Needles and fluorescents.
I Hate needles, I always knew I disliked them, no one actually likes needles, but as of today, I hate, beyond a hate you could ever imagine, needles.
The doctor surprise attacked me with three blood tests and not the usual cool down where you have three days to prepare yourself but wam bam right out of the appointment and straight into it.
I was completely petrified of course and fell into one of my anxiety attacks walking to my death in needle form.
Awful, absolutely awful, and the needle beast was a grumpy bitch about it all too.
But I got some satisfaction when she got angry when she couldn't spell my name even after I spelt it out for her.
And to think a week a go i was dead set on getting my tattoo done.
Now with very little sleep in my sleep bank, I am sitting at my mothers work with my head slowly nodding forward every few seconds.
I'd Love to go home and sleep, but it seems I will be here for another million hours or so.
I stayed up lastnight/this morning on the hunt for an old Cartoon me and my sister use to watch on the Nickelodeon Halloween scream special when we were youngins'.
And to my surprise I found it and am still to this day absolutely terrified of the old spookster Mr. Moundshroud, who i am now to learn the voice is by Leonard Nimoy.
He played Captain Spock in those crazy star trek days, the one with the elf like eyebrows and ears, beatles hair cut.
When they go to mexico is probably the bit that scares me the most by memory.
I can't wait to watch the whole thing, and then again on halloween.
I need sleeeeeeeeeep.
The doctor surprise attacked me with three blood tests and not the usual cool down where you have three days to prepare yourself but wam bam right out of the appointment and straight into it.
I was completely petrified of course and fell into one of my anxiety attacks walking to my death in needle form.
Awful, absolutely awful, and the needle beast was a grumpy bitch about it all too.
But I got some satisfaction when she got angry when she couldn't spell my name even after I spelt it out for her.
And to think a week a go i was dead set on getting my tattoo done.
Now with very little sleep in my sleep bank, I am sitting at my mothers work with my head slowly nodding forward every few seconds.
I'd Love to go home and sleep, but it seems I will be here for another million hours or so.
I stayed up lastnight/this morning on the hunt for an old Cartoon me and my sister use to watch on the Nickelodeon Halloween scream special when we were youngins'.
And to my surprise I found it and am still to this day absolutely terrified of the old spookster Mr. Moundshroud, who i am now to learn the voice is by Leonard Nimoy.
He played Captain Spock in those crazy star trek days, the one with the elf like eyebrows and ears, beatles hair cut.
When they go to mexico is probably the bit that scares me the most by memory.
I can't wait to watch the whole thing, and then again on halloween.
I need sleeeeeeeeeep.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Tutorials and dirty washing.
I've been to Melbourne and back again, this blog isn't one of my priorities so I didn't think to, well, "blog" about my trip at any point.
I wish I could of stayed longer, I enjoyed my time with my sister but my friends let me down which isn't something you like to go through too often.
And being away from my Lover for any amount of time is never fun.
I ate too much junk and wasted alot of money, although the junk tasted really good.
I hoped to straighten my head out completely whilst being gone but I suppose I had too much faith in that and was disappointed to realize there wasn't a full recovery, never the less it set me on a better track and now it's up to me to stick to it.
I saw too many amazing things, and just at the thought of it all I can guarantee I'll stop myself from crying.Weak and Lame I know, but like I always say I am an Emotional Retard.
I'm yet to appreciate some true wonderful things elsewhere in this world, and appreciate them unbelievably at that I will.
My sister took me to the zoo where I got to see Gorillas for the first time in my life, we had an encounter with a Goanna on the loose and took too too too too many photos of the lions.
When I can be bothered I shall upload photos.
Now I'm back in the Hometown with a large majority of distasteful people and uneventful evenings.
But I am doing my best not to complain and be grateful for the things that are normal for me in life.
With recent events of my dear Michaels' passing, and an acquaintance developing a brain tumour, I am making sure of it, as hard as it is to see positively with such tragedies on the mind.
A day doesn't go by where I don't think about Michael,that familiar ache in my throat, and it hasn't seem to get any easier.
But he'd want me to keep trying, and I will.
I make it one of my wills in life now for everyone I come to meet to know the tremendous influence he has had in my life, on the world with his music and mostly his undying compassion for the human race, regardless how many times it would be against him and let him down.
I miss him more and more everyday.
I am back to my usual habits of it being late in the evening and I am feasting on anything I can find in the cupboard and watching late night nickelodeon, enjoyable at most times of course but company would be nice.
I shall carry on with such nonsense and such.
Why did I even write all of this?
I wish I could of stayed longer, I enjoyed my time with my sister but my friends let me down which isn't something you like to go through too often.
And being away from my Lover for any amount of time is never fun.
I ate too much junk and wasted alot of money, although the junk tasted really good.
I hoped to straighten my head out completely whilst being gone but I suppose I had too much faith in that and was disappointed to realize there wasn't a full recovery, never the less it set me on a better track and now it's up to me to stick to it.
I saw too many amazing things, and just at the thought of it all I can guarantee I'll stop myself from crying.Weak and Lame I know, but like I always say I am an Emotional Retard.
I'm yet to appreciate some true wonderful things elsewhere in this world, and appreciate them unbelievably at that I will.
My sister took me to the zoo where I got to see Gorillas for the first time in my life, we had an encounter with a Goanna on the loose and took too too too too many photos of the lions.
When I can be bothered I shall upload photos.
Now I'm back in the Hometown with a large majority of distasteful people and uneventful evenings.
But I am doing my best not to complain and be grateful for the things that are normal for me in life.
With recent events of my dear Michaels' passing, and an acquaintance developing a brain tumour, I am making sure of it, as hard as it is to see positively with such tragedies on the mind.
A day doesn't go by where I don't think about Michael,that familiar ache in my throat, and it hasn't seem to get any easier.
But he'd want me to keep trying, and I will.
I make it one of my wills in life now for everyone I come to meet to know the tremendous influence he has had in my life, on the world with his music and mostly his undying compassion for the human race, regardless how many times it would be against him and let him down.
I miss him more and more everyday.
I am back to my usual habits of it being late in the evening and I am feasting on anything I can find in the cupboard and watching late night nickelodeon, enjoyable at most times of course but company would be nice.
I shall carry on with such nonsense and such.
Why did I even write all of this?
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