"All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go"

Literally out of the blue I booked a flight for Melbourne in two weeks.
I'm not too sure why I did this.
Today I awoken with a sore throat, what I dread most out of all sickness, which immediately led me to the decision of going back to bed and not getting up till Three in the afternoon.
This is not a luxury, it is boring and pathetic.
I went to collect my film from Town revealing that my camera is in working order, this pleased me.
Tomorrow I spend the day with a new friend.
Socialising is difficult.
Mourning is still upon me.
P.s I hate Ben houstons Mum.

++

In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
In my trials
And my tripulations
Through our doubts
And frustrations
In my violence
In my turbulence
Through my fear
And my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
Ill never let you part
For youre always in my heart.

29th of August 1958 26th June 2009

The 26th will forever remain the saddest day of my life.
Sad is an understatement.
You were my world Michael.


My heart is aching beyond belief.

a short History of almost Nothing.

I'm not as callous as you think
I barely breathe when you are near
It's not as bad when I don't drink
I think I'll wait another year

The time of day is becoming harder to recognise, and the colour of the light is a sad blue.
Today is not a good day.

--

It is not the fear of being alone or without comfort,
It is the fear of being without the one you Love.

A downfall.

The mind is too powerful for its own good.
And will destroy itself if allowed.
Anxiety is its Lover.
Together they make paranoia.

Pe. Es

I have a Lover who makes it all worth while.
He's giggling write now happy to see that I'm not writing my usual woes.
And usual woes it truly is.
My nails are getting longer, I like to point, it out to everyone, or drum my fingers on every hard surface I come by.
I hung clothes this evening, The coat hangers all had to be facing the same way, thankfully you can just twist the head rather than having to take the whole garment of the hanger and back on again.
Little effort but still alot.
Playing with my nails again.
My only interest.

Corey is Beautiful.
Now I mean truly.
Go find something that makes your eyes pop, makes your heart either stop or race, and makes your cheeks ache.
That is Corey and more.

Cat legs and ink

Wankers.
Wankers Wankers Wankers Wankers.
I'm wasting to much time being angry at the World, but no point denying it and avoiding it.
I'm not as good as the rest of them are at pretending its a "happy place"
Fake as Fuck.

Achy breaky

p.s

I write like shit.

Sweet Cherry Cherry

I am failing myself beyond belief.
Thankfully my beautiful friend managed to pull me out of bed this afternoon and get me to come meet her in town for sushi, otherwise I'd probably still be laying there.
I'm unsuccessfully trying to grow my nails again, I don't bite them for anxiety reasons, I just bite them subconciously, like breathing, thats how often you'll find me doing it.
This week has started off with a very uncomfortable feeling and unpleasant bus trips.
And some days I secretly wish I never left school.